My fair share is smaller than everybody else's.
Silas: Why are you talking to me about this? I want to listen to Beethoven.
It's all about getting your rear end in the right spot.
May: All Classical music is Christmas music
Efrem: No it's not, like Beethoven's 5th or Dvorjak?
May: What about Tchaikovsky, the Nutcracker?
Efrem: Silas, isn't Tchaikovsky Romantic, not Classical?
Silas: Efrem, when regular people say 'classical music' they mean all the music composed before the 1900's when jazz emerged...
"It's weird, Uncle Jason doesn't have any white hair, and he's over 40..."
Dan: This week you have to write a poem
Efrem: Great, does it have to rhyme?
"Why do the French say 'Etats Unis' when they talk about the United States. Doesn't that mean, like vacation or somethin'?"
"You come with me. You'll be my baseball bat."
"How could you lose the miracle of noodles?"
"Don't make me smile! I can't whistle when I'm smiling."
"Being homesick is better than being carsick because if you're carsick you're sick to your stomach but if you're homesick you're just sad."
Efrem: Daddy, does the tooth fairy really exist?
Dan: Do you really want to know?
Dan: No, he doesn't exist.
Efrem: What?! Then who puts the money under my pillow, Santa?
Dan: What are you doing?
Silas: I'm writing my Christmas list.
Dan: Are you going to include 'peace on earth' and 'good will toward men'?
Silas: Maybe, if I have room.
Dan: I have too much chalant to do nonchalent.
May: Whatever, you don't have any chalant.
"I'll bet it would be difficult to tell between a real bird and a robot bird."
"Swiss means cheese."
"I bet the Belgians don't use that word anymore!"
"This soup is not gracious!"
"Bass guitar is like salt. You can't really taste it, but you can tell when it's not there."
"When that guy had food coming out of his ears, did he go see the doctor?"
"I knew it, it's sunny!"
"When I'm a man am I gonna get whiskers? Whiskers make you talk like a man."
Dan: Mommy and Daddy haven't shown you guys our superpowers yet.
Efrem: You guys' super powers is spanking.
"That's enough! I don't want to get a chocolate mustache!"
"Forgetmenots are soo pretty because God made forgetmenots."
"It looks like merry Christmas!"
"I think we need new batteries."
Silas: I'm serious!
May: Hello serious, I'm May
Silas: Don't start that again, or else I'm leavin' (pause) with the car!
"You are NOT my grandparent!"
"Cool, look at those cloud formations!"
Did you ever say "cloud formations" when you were in first grade?
May: See, Efrem, I'm making Silas handsome.
Efrem to Silas: I'll save you!
"Eat now and your stomach will get used to it later."
"My hair is falling"
"Do you know who won the [baseball] game we saw? The Oreos!"
"That's like throwing a question out of an airplane. You need a parachute on it."
Dan talking to Silas: Life is quick.
Silas: It's not as quick as you think. Life is as slow as the world turns.
"Who's being jurassic around here?"
"This morning I want Rice Krispies and newborn bread!"
"I think that when you turn 33 you will have already forgotten this day."
"Efrem doesn't appreciate my art!"
"Having kids ages you about 20 years in 15 minutes."
But I think she still looks pretty young, don't you?
"This house is a Workman sandwich."
Living in Kandern Germany, Hauptstrasse 5
"It (the moon) misses us to smithereens"
May talking to Efrem: Silas loves that kind of cheese (mozzarella).
Silas: I ate it SO many times and it did not kill me!
"Won't it be amazing when my hands work?"
Dan talking to Efrem: Ouch! don't bite.
Silas: What happened?
May: Efrem bit daddy.
Silas (with a frightened gasp): Is he poisonous?
"If you drink too much coffee it will turn you into cement"
We have no idea where that came from.
"This music is obnoxious!"
"I get to go be silly. Have fun, guys, being normal"
"What's for dinner tomorrow, babe?"
He knows that's not appropriate now!
Silas - What if this whole place (our apartment) was filled up with pajamas, up to the ceiling, and we couldn't hear the buzzer? What then?
Dan - What if there were no hypothetical questions?